Dreaming of living the high life and making yourself a paid-up member of the global elite? We all love to daydream, but the truth is limitless fame may not be all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, if you want to be able to enjoy life, we’re going to show you that flying under the radar is probably the safer path to choose. Make sure you read the following wise words before you embark on your latest plan for global fame and world domination because no one else is going to share all this with you.
Everyone will have an opinion on your new hairstyle
You love your hairstyle, it’s in fashion, and it goes with your latest wardrobe. Job done! Or is it? When you’re famous anyone and everyone will have a thousand different opinions on what your hairstyle means and signifies, and some of them really do get heavily into the amateur psychology side of things.
Have you added highlights because you want to show an ex-partner you’re over them and that the teary-eyed breakup the world saw is old news? Maybe going for a shorter cut is your way of making a social and political statement about breaking stereotypes and living your authentic truth? And are you letting your hair grow out and putting off a trip to your stylist in an attempt to show that you really are green and focused on lowering your carbon footprint?
Or maybe, just maybe, you fancied a change and decided to go with something that made you smile. Can you see the stress of being famous already starting to mount?
You’ll feel like you’re running a gauntlet if you leave the house in joggers
We get it, you want to keep things casual. The problem is that the rest of the world has come to expect a certain look and style from you. All those fans and paparazzi who follow your every move surely don’t deserve to be let down by your old joggers — no matter how comfy you secretly know they are.
No, those joggers just can’t be seen outside your house. You owe it to your loyal following to wear every label you can think of and have your hair perfect every time you step out of the front door. And if you think popping to the local store for bread and milk is not big news, think again my friend! You’re famous now and that means no matter how much you pretend to be a human being beneath it all, you’re actually little more than public property and a stunning smile.
Opting for no makeup gets viewed as a cry for help
You’re a unique, kind and creative person on the inside, but none of that matters if your makeup isn’t perfectly on point. It’s about time you got over the fact that you’re no longer the interesting, multi-faceted person you were pre-fame. Now you’re a walking, talking ad board that has to look pristine and perfect from every possible angle. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Oh, and if you do decide to ignore us and take a risk and leave the house without makeup, expect everything about your love life to be quickly dredged up. Are you upset about an ex? Are you missing your partner while they’re away? Are you unhappy and trapped in your relationship? Are you just keeping it casual and can’t be bothered? Expect the world’s press to create mountains of copy for all these questions, bar the last one which no one will ever care enough about to ask.
‘Boring’ evenings will quickly become your only escape
Imagine having all the money and fame in the world, and yet you feel a little nervous rocking up in Vegas with a crowd following you. You’ve never played, you don’t know the rules, and you have an image to protect, my friend. Maybe if you made it famous, you’d want to practice on some online blackjack games at home for one evening, just to get your skills up. You never know, you might find that the glamor of celebrity life in Vegas just isn’t as comfy as phone, TV and a takeout while you sit back on the couch after all.
If you think you can make things a little more exotic and relax by a pool on your travels, then you need to think again. The gym has never mattered more before visiting the pool and that’s a real problem because getting in shape will quickly become impossible as your fame grows.
Everyone will expect you to look like an Olympian without trying
Imagine you want to lose 10 lbs, get in shape and tone up. Good for you, surely all of your fans will get behind you and see just what an inspiring and inspirational person you are. No, you’ve missed the mark with that one in a big way. They have you up on a pedestal and love nothing more than watching the press chuck all manner of things at you in the hope you fall off and embarrass yourself.
Jogging in the park is a recipe for disaster and will lead to viral images of a sweating version of yourself huffing and puffing while apparently barely moving. Photos of you heading into a gym for a behind-closed-doors PT session will lead to constant speculation about why you won’t train outside (can’t think why) and what you’re hiding (literally nothing). You could just give up on your workout routine, but then everyone will point out how you’ve let yourself go and write even more stories about how you need to take better care of yourself.
Final thoughts
Avoid global fame like the plague and do your very best to enjoy daily life. Stick with your day job, turn down record deals, and never reply when Hollywood agents send you yet another batch of scripts. Take the safe route and keep your head down because nothing good ever came from being rich and famous.
